Firsts home v Deerpark 2 (Tue, Oct 30, '07)

The West Lothian team turned up with just 4, not having the courtesy to phone us when they knew the day before that they would be short. As a result, one of our team had a wasted evening - their captain got a lesson on where to find the team contacts on the ESSA website for his pains.

Gerald at #3 gave Malcolm Lochrie plenty of Welsh-isms between points, was cruising 2-0 up and made a meal of the third but managed to win it 10/9. Alan Stokes played Sandra Wilkes at #4 and stayed in control on a hot court 3 to take it 3-0. Mike Perring for the second week running had no legs, still enough touch and power to take a routine win over Milan Govan at #1.

Ali G at #2 took a game to get in his stride (i.e. he lost the first) against John Miller, this was the most contested match of the night. Alastair was cracking the ball well and reaching everything in the long rallies and John was not going to an easy defeat but it was still 9-3,9-3,9-3 to Ali in the next 3 games.

Overall 5-0, 20-3 incl ref bonus points. Man of the match: Ali G came thru in a good fight.

Food report: Mike served up a very tasty Spag Bol with garlic bread which satisfied everyone.

Bragging rights for the first mini-leagues of 2007

The mini-leagues are now available on-line. Click on the... Nov 2007 league

Click the previous... Oct 2007 league RESULTS so that you can see why you got promoted or demoted or eliminated (if you never saw the final totals on the noticeboard.)

Note that all phone/email info has been removed, for your protection. Please consult your Email/noticeboard for this info. Congrats to Dougie Brown for a great running start to his mini-league stewardship.

Peter Roberts is mini-leaguer of the month after dropping only 1 point out of a possible 32 in a very competitive league.

Nick Lyth was a worthy runner-up in the very competitive division of the month, Div 11, with Menzies, McLaren, Edward and Marshall also getting into double figures points totals and 100% matches played with a maximum total of 100 points!

In the premier leagues, Allan Hamer consolidated his position as Club #1,, with current club champion Mike Perring and Chris Mair tied for the second spot. Click here to see... where you are ranked in the club (from mini-league head-to-head results). Get on the club ladder by working your way up to the top 5 mini-league divisions. And perhaps get yourself called up for a team match.

Seconds home v Royal Bank (Thurs, Oct 26)

First up was super-sub Peter Menzies, fresh from a summer of improvement on the coaching course. His own verdict: "I was playing sh*te, mate" in which case we need to move him up the team order 'cos he won 9-5,9-4,9-2 and would have hockeyed the guy if he'd been playing well!

Tim Hannay came in as super-sub at #4 and went 6-9, 3-9 down but got to 8-4 game ball in the third, unluckily he could not convert the two service rallies he got and the merchant banker beat him 10-8 in that one too. Still, he can take consolation from his share of Menzies 3 points through him playing at #4.

Dougie at #3 was, by his own admission, slotting everything to granny the guy in the first, get to 7-7 and push thru for the win in both other games, like the thoroughbred racket man that he is.

Peter Cockburn took on Eric Donohoe at #1. Stokesy commented while spectating that was that Peter was playing well but Eric was playing uber-high standard. One rally apparently went on for about 30 shots with Peter dominant throughout and Eric running court lengths like the greyhound he is, Peter looking up at the balcony mid-rally "what do I have to do to put this guy away" written on his face as Eric runs down yet another distant shot, at the end of the rally Eric takes a swing and puts it away. The balcony draws its breath.

Mark Dutton at #2 played Stephen who was hitting a terrific clean ball. One little vignette: Stephen ends up stranded in the front corner, Mark on the T with an open court but can only volley back to Stephen's corner, he does but calls "Let please!" at the same time, then the ball rolls out of the nick! Cue the balcony holds it's breath. Again. Mark is there arguing why he should get a let, Stephen says "No, its either your winner or a stroke to you" and Dougie the ref has to persuade Mark to accept the winner when Mark thought he was struggling to get a let. The balcony lets out a collective sigh of relief. We need a camera on Mark at all times - these funny incidents always happen with him and there is a whole YouTube.com audience out there waiting for this stuff.

Man of the Match: Peter Menzies on his debut

Overall a 2-3 (6-12 points) loss, thanks to Cockburn and the super-subs for helping out in my hour of need.

Firsts @ David Lloyd (Wed Oct 23, '07)

To be struggling to get out just 2 teams this early in the season does not bode well for our chances of promotion or staying up for either team.

Peter Cockburn at #5, again showing the good clubman that he is, turning out on consecutive nights. I didn't see his match but his own synopsis was that he was too loose and gave away too many strokes to Paul Sherry, 0-3.

Stokesy at #4 beat Raymond Ross, coming from behind in 2 games as Raymond's deadly drops were cancelled out by giving away too many strokes. Alan went on to close it out 3-0. Christy at #3 ground out a 3-1 win against Alex Killick and Chris Mair also beat their #2 by the same score.

Mike Perring was the most lethargic I've ever seen him and Joseph Ghaemi took a good win. Considering he is rated 450 (out of 1000!) points lower, the teenager's ranking will get a nice boost from this anomaly.
Man of the Match: Raymond and Alan. Playing a match I thought would never happen, neither batted an eyelid when, out of the 20 permutations of opponents, the team order dictated they play each other and a competitive sporting match ensued.

We did well to scrape the bonus points out of this, overall it was 14-10 on the night incl qualified refs bonus.

The catering wing of David Lloyd needs a poker up the ass from Gordon Ramsay 'cos the baked potato filling dished up wouldn't have fed 10 gnats- if I was paying £70 a month as a DLL member plus a match fee, I'd be hacked off, no disrespect to the 5 players. We just had to drink more beer to make up for the lack of calories ;-)

Who's Who at Grange Squash #2- The competitions secretary in focus

It looks like our competition's secretary leads a busy double life ;-)

Who's Who at Grange Squash #1 - Stokesy in focus....

Seconds @ Linlithgow 2 (Tue, Oct 2,'07)

Having survived the scary journey under the railway underpass and on through the dark wastelands to Linlithgow squash club, we were then mugged when we got there by a Lin2 team that was just way too good on the night.

• Dougie Brown made a return at #5 after a long back-injury layoff and looked very good to share the first two games with Mark Pilcher. Drifted off the pace after that to lose 1-3.
  
• Mark Dutton started slowly against Pete Cochrane to go 0-2 down, won the third very well but the week-long head cold finally caught up (as did Pete's quite decent volley-drop game)
• Alan Stokes ran into fitness machine Joe Andrews at #2 and matched him (nearly) point for point to lose 9-10, 9-10 in the first two. The fitness levels fully kicked in during the third game and Rob ran away with it. 0-3
  
• Pete Tweedie played the very capable Rob Purdie at #3 (knocked Christy off last year, I believe) {Ed note: Actually, Christy knocked off Peter C last year in Linlithgow , it was at The Grange (even worse) that Christy got knocked off by Rob P} and didn't see much joy in the first two games at all. In the third he finally realised that he was playing a left-hander and ceased putting every ball on Rob's powerful and tricksy fore-hand. Much improved as a result and Pete got as far as having two game points but finally lost that one. Would've been a tight match if the third game had actually been the first one....but damage already done. 0-3.
  
• Same story for Pete Cockburn at #1. He matched Mark Osborne very well in general play but by the end of each rally it was Pete that had eventually been worn down into the loose shot. The third game was very competitive and likewise had it started that way then a close match would have ensued but damage done and 0-3 the result.
  

So.....a 2-18 loss. Not a good result on paper (can everybody recognise a euphemism when they see one), but in reality everybody showed themselves capable of matching their opponents for decent periods of their matches. All credit to Lin2 though...they never let us into it.

Grange I v Colinton 3 (Tues 09.10.07)

Gerald opened up with a 5 setter against Hector Milne, 2-3.
Christy made Stuart Keane look quite convential, 3-1.
Al plugged away with Garry Speirs, came close to levelling it from 1-2, but finished 1-3.
Chris, who will be remembered tonight for choosing "set 1", taking game ball, then serving down - played good squash, but ended 0-3.
Mike was up against tough refereeing: "No let, 10-8", harsh, but correct, Christy assures us. And also Jonathan Nimmo, who played a game of patience, accuracy and deadly boasts, with which he eventually beat us. 1-3.

Colinton have a strong side, coming down from division 2, so we got reasonable points. But we were close to more, with Gerald, Al and Mike in sight of a win.

Overall 1-4, 9-18 .

Thanks to Christy for a hearty chilli with home grown potatoes, and to Margaret for keeping the bar open!

Man of the match: Christy, our only winner, but mostly for the potatoes.

Seconds home to Hatton (Thurs, Oct 4, 07)

This was a long, hard fought match that took us right up to closing time. Alan Stokes was just too consistent for #3 Nick Tinning, winning 3-1. Mark Dutton played Tinning junior at #5 in a match that had everything, dying boasts from the teenager, drop shots interspersed with dives from Dutton, it went to 5 and Mark showed all his experience, slowing it down when needed to hang on for the win 3-2.

After that marathon, Tweedster served us up another against #4 Andy Love. Lobs versus drives, Tweedie edged out the Hatton man in the fifth; 3-2. Peter Cockburn took on #2 John Gordon and in the first game he conter dropped his way almost to a granny. However John turned on his drops and angles in the next 3 and Peter tried to change up his game but to no avail; 1-3.

Saving the best to last, Gerald Suggett strutted about court against Malcolm Mitchell at #1. Malcolm shaded the first with some telling drops but the rallies lengthened, Malcolm is fit but Gerald never let up and Malcom choose to turn off the chase when the shot count got to 20 in a few rallies and Gerald was home 3-1. Gerald never let up, this was punishing stuff and, fitter than a butcher's dog as he is, he gave no quarter.

Overall 4-1, a 16-9 point great start considering the first team won home and lost away against this team last year.

Man of the match: Team effort with everyone contributing, hard to seperate Dutton, Tweedie and Suggett who really proved their fitness.

Grange I @ Mammas (Fri, 04.10.07)

Kevin kicked off the season with athleticism 3-1 against Lyndsay.
Al beat John 3-0.
Chris Mair dominated Stuart with fast pace in his debut performance 3-0.
Mike clinched 9-7 off Neil in the fifth, a long battle with both men running on empty.
Allan beat Scott with characteristic efficiency 3-0.
and Christy came to look after us all.

We took the 3 bonus points. But missed out on 2 points for not having a proper referee. We'll not let that happen again - let's all get trained up asap!

Overall 5-0, 18-5 good points and a good start against a weakened Mamma's missing Johnny Everett.

Mammas pizzas and hospitality were excellent as always in the Grassmarket.

Man of the match: Mike Perring, for being totally exhausted.

Any volunteers for chef on Tuesday?