Grange 5 @ Colinton Castle 5(9/2/11)

AAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrggggghhh

As you have probably guessed, this week’s match was another case of the inexperienced Barbarians snatching defeat from the jaws of victory against one of the division’s top sides.

The week started off with the traditional three things going wrong. Firstly Neil Love extended his stay in Barcelona (again) and was subbed by Dean. Then sicknote Grieve got a sniffle and Stephen Davey stepped in for his third outing of the year. That meant everyone moving up a place and so we took to court with me, Pete Roberts (our Babas virgin of the evening), Richard Nisbet, Stephen Davey and Dean Wood. Oh, and the third thing? After picking Dean up en route, we were bemused to see an octogenarian turn right at Chesser and come straight at us down the wrong side of the road. A few seconds more and we’d have started 6-0 down! How we laughed...

First up was Dean who was clearly in the mood to make up for his shocking performances in the mini-leagues which has seen him drop to unheard of depths. He was in control from start to finish as he allowed his opponent just 10 points on his way to a 3-0 win. Good start.

Following a plea from the hosts, I was next on at number 1 – don’t laugh. It started off pretty well with some reasonable play and I was soon 2-0 up. But my opponent was beginning to find his range and everything was dying on the back wall. But some major scurrying around saw me edge ahead in the third and I was soon serving for the match at 8-7 up. A poor backhand from my opponent clipped the corner and the ball came back by his leg. I called the stroke and turned to shake hands only to hear a ‘Let Ball’ from the balcony. I enquired politely what planet he was from, but was reassured that he was from earth, wasn’t joking and hadn’t fallen asleep at the vital moment. Dean was trying to help by nodding from the balcony – but he’s a rubbish liar, I could tell from his face! At this point, I should have let it go, but instead I let my game go and lost the third before being totally outplayed to lose 3-2.

Next up were Richard Nisbet and our virginal Pete Roberts. Richard played some excellent squash and was soon 2-0 up. The balance shifted in the third and some excellent retrieving was just too much; 2-1. But Richard, our top ranked Barbarian, showed more of that control as he kept his opponent at bay for a 3-1 victory. 2-1 to grange (and yes it would have been 3 if I hadn’t blown it).

Meanwhile, Pete Roberts was finding the matches a different proposition from the mini-leagues. He struggled to get to grips with the occasion and took just 6 points as he lost 3-0. Too aggressive? Too passive? The look on his face said ‘Don’t ask’. I am sure he’ll be back to usual form in his next match. 2-2.

So it was left to Stephen Davey to win the evening. The first few games swung back and forth as first Stephen then his opponent got the upper hand. It was 2-2. A true Barbarians game, matches 2-2, games 2-2, what glorious defeat could we muster tonight? The fifth was tight until 4-4 when his opponent got a grip and led 8-4. But Stephen wasn’t going to lie down and with some excellent (and often outrageous) retrieving, pulled the match back to 8-7. Some long rallies ensued as Stephen saved match point, only to be thwarted in his attempt to force a tie break. Eventually, it proved a point too far and Stephen lost 9-7. 3-2 to Colinton. Man of the match to Stephen, a good effort against a tough opponent.

So, overall a 15-12 game to Colinton and another missed opportunity. As Richard (quite rightly) referred to my horrendous loss and impact on the game, I chose not to mention his loss from a similar position against David Lloyd. Instead, we agreed that as he won, and I scored 4 points (ref) the cause of the nights defeat was actually sicknote Grieve. Sorted.

Food for the night was a bowl of chilli and pitta bread. Or as our vegetarian Dean called it, pitta bread. Just as well we found a chippie on the way home.

And that’s the answer to Robin’s question from the match against Colinton Castle 6! (Report: Mike D)