Record Barbarians Victory (just)

This week saw a record victory for the Barbarians as they ran out 20-5 victors over Waverley IV at the Accies. Not only was this a record victory, but the first time our Babas had taken maximum points in a match.

First up was Tom McEwan who was looking to get into the groove following the foot-fault disappointment of the previous match. He started off very tentatively trying the safe shots and it just wasn't working. Soon he was 1-6 down, and I went to watch the other game. A few minutes later it was clear the game was over so I came back to find out what the score had been. To my amazement, Tom had gone on to win the first game 9-6 AND had won the second game 9-1 - all in the time it had taken Dave on the other court to to limp into the corner for a boast. The third was more competitive and saw 4-4 and 6-6 before Tom powered home for a 9-6 victory.

On the other court, sicknote Grieve was in control and, despite moving with the elegance of an octogenarian with a zimmer, managed a uniform 9-3, 9-3, 9-3 win. But it was nearly a different story at 3-1 in the third game when Dave dextrously ran down a boast only to whack the ball straight back into himself. Luckily it hit his head and no damage was done. 2-0.

Meanwhile Dean was underway and after trading a few points to 3-3, raced out for a 9-4 win. He was clearly in control, so I went to watch Matt. Big mistake. While Matt was doing well, I thought I saw Dean come back on court. Actually, he was coming off court having lost the second 0-9 having had just three serves - and one was the opening serve. I could tell things weren''t going well from the muttering, but Dean regained composure, forgot about that Quantum Theory of Einstein's he had just disproved, and normal service was restored for a 9-4, 9-7 victory. 3-0.

Matt was frankly in excellent form, although we still think he needs a 3-stone handicap in the mini-leagues. The first was over in a clinical 9-1 and was followed by a 9-6, 9-5 for another 3-0 win to bring up the 4-0. A record vistory was in sight ... or was it.

Last up was yours truly; known for his sunny disposition and sporting behaviour, but aware that I was all that stood between the teams and food. It was an interesting game. I was reminded after the first two to get in touch with Dave Ferguson and take issue with his referee course that I attended. It seems he ommitted to mention that if your opponent can't reach the ball it's okay for him to grip your racket to ease his passage. And if you hit the ball past your opponent, that is unsporting behaviour to be met with a request for a let. After an age, the first two games were lost 6-9, 7-9 and to be fair, I was 'no happy'. I thought back to last year and the games I had lost. I also thought of those on the balcony desperate for food and thought 'stuff this - what would Dave do?'. The answer was as obvious as the phrase 'no let' that Dean seemed to have dropped from his vocabulary. Out came Mr Grumpy. I basically played the same game but laced with as many stroke and let calls as my opponent and picked up the pace. The next two games were clawed back 9-6, 9-7 to bring up 2-2. Some of the calls became more and more outrageous and I courteously enquired during the fourth if my opponent would find it easier to reach the ball if I left the court and let him get on with it himself. Into the fifth and I had enough momentum to go 3-7 down before drawing back to 7-7. At this point we'd been on court for an hour and the movement was beginning to slow. But I was very grateful for the lob to the backhand that allowed my muscle memory to draw on the years on badminton play and reach over for a cross-court forehand smash to bring up 8-7, followed by the game and a 3-2 win.

The evening was followed by the usual banter and pizza. Luckily we hadn't ordered the pizzas during my game. The team say it's because they had faith in me. I just think they forgot.

Mike