Grange 5 home vs Colinton Castle 5(Thurs, Nov 11,'10)

Grange 5 Barbarians and the Captains Curse

This week saw the Barbarians take on top-of-the-table Colinton Castle 5 in only our second home match of the season. With the latest mini-league tables bringing some surprise results, it was time to change the playing order to reflect recent successes and failures.

Those who have read earlier reports will know of the Barbarians Captains Curse. This is the proven scientific fact that if I win my match, the team loses. So, the best way for me to contribute to the team is to lose – at least I’ll get a couple of ref points. However, this brave contribution seems to have been overlooked by the rest of the team. I agreed to try this week, but they were warned ...

First up were Bill Marshall and myself. Bill was still smarting from his newly created nickname from last week of Bill-Nil and took to court with a purposeful demeanour. After a few exchanges of serve a run of five points saw Bill trail in the first, and despite a tight and even game he couldn’t recover and lost 9-6. The second was also tight and Bill got his nose in front to lead 4-2 before another run of five points saw him trail 7-4. From here it was nip and tuck until his opponent came from 6-7 to lead 8-7 and serve for the second. Bill held his nerve, but couldn’t draw level and he faced a second game point. But again he saved it and managed to level t

he game at 8-8. This was more like it. Serving first in a ‘set 2’ game, Bill was unlucky (also known as ‘rubbish’) to hit the tin with a dropshot and his opponent closed the game out 10-8. Bill was clearly frustrated and we looked forward to him taking this energy into the third. But after a few exchanges of serve, his opponent followed a run of three points with a run of 4 and the game was over 3-0.

Meanwhile, on the other court I was knocking up with a player who was hitting the ball like he was Robin Steel’s coach and things weren’t looking too good. However, remembering the Barbarians Captains Curse, I reflected that while things looked bleak on the personal front, my confidence for the overall match was growing. I decided my only hope was to see if he could hit the ball that hard while running and started to play a patient game of chess. At 4-0 down, this strategy didn’t seem to be working but gradually the game began to turn and I was pleased to take the first game 9-6. I was especially pleased to get this game as Dave Grieve (who’d rather go on the piss than play for the team) had told me the night before that now I’d completed the ref course I’d be able to contribute 2 points this week! Now it was 3! The secon

d game started with us exchanging 8 serves without a score and the tight game continued to 4-4 from where I managed to pull away for a 9-4 victory. My opponent brought focus to his game at this point and I was soon 4-0 down in the third. He was starting to hit it harder and harder and I was getting fed up with desperate lurches to the corners. Time for a new strategy – lob everything, and take the pace off the ball. This resulted in 7 points from one serve run and the game was soon won 9-5 and overall 3-0.

The game now had an unusual feel. Every other match so far had lots of 3-2 victories or losses that left us desperately trying to finish before 10 pm and fit a drink in before the bar closes. But tonight we had two 3-0 rubbers and it was only ten past eight.

Next up was Neil Love. This was a tremendous match to referee and I’d personally like to thank Neil for making it such a simple game with not one single let in the whole match. But there was a reason for this... The first game saw Neil lose a run of seven straight points to be 8-0 down before he rescued a couple of points on his way to a 9-2 loss. The second started more even and was poised at 2-2 before another run of seven points brought an equally disappointing 9-2 loss. The third saw Neil get his nose in front before losing a run of 4 to be

4-1 down. He recovered a point before another run saw him 8-2 down and heading for the exit. Probably the best that could be said at this point was if he lost the next point he’d have shown remarkable consistency and symmetry in losing 9-2 9-2 9-2. But it wasn’t to be and he took a couple of points to break the pattern and lost the last 9-4. Another 3-0 game.

Meanwhile on the other court, Richard Nisbet had played just one game. The first was an energetic affair with both players ‘covering the court well’. The almighty scramble brought them to 8-8 in the first and Richard called it ‘set 2’. In a frenetic end, four serves were consecutively lost before Richard edged ahead 9-8 only to see his opponent deliver a highly skilful frame shot that hit the wall an inch above the tin. He followed that up with a point and served for the first game at 9-9. An epic rally followed that saw several clean winners brilliantly recovered by both players. It ended with a backhand winner from Richard that was called ‘not up’ by the referee to the dismay of both players and the balcony. At this point Richard began to do a worthy

impression of our own Mr Meldrew (who by now was presumably onto Tequila slammers).

But both players agreed the ball had been up and Richard now served for the second game. Great serve, no return and Richard was 1-0 up.

Over on the other court, Brian Sloan had started and quickly dispatched his ‘experienced’ opponent 9-1 to take the opening game with a range of positional shots around the court. Things were looking good and I began to wonder if I had imagined the Barbarians Captains Curse. I mean, what could go wrong from here?

Meanwhile Richard immediately went 7-0 up in the third and despite a mini revival from his opponent, took the third 9-4 for a 3-0 victory. The match was all square 2-2 and 6-6. All eyes were now on Brian who was 1 up and 4-4 in the second. But his opponent’s tight serving was beginning to cause problems and he was losing too many easy points as the second game was lost 9-5. The third game was very tight with lots of serves to both players, but Brian couldn’t keep his opponent moving as he had in the first game and the third was also lost 9-5. While things were looking a little bleak, I did have faith in Brian’s fitness and was sure he would start to tire his ‘more experienced’ opponent.

The next game deserves its own paragraph.

After two rounds of serves, Brian had discovered that age and fitness aren’t all they are cracked up to be as he stared down the barrel of the gun; 2-1 down and 8-0 down in the fourth. As they say, a good one to win! But pride was starting kick in (and he probably wasn’t keen on inheriting the Bill-Nil mantra from Mr Marshall). Having rescued the match point, Brian then took control and reeled off six points before he had to face another match point. Full of running and guile, he rescued that point and rattled off another two to bring to game to 8-8 and a ‘set 2’ call came from his slightly bemused opponent. But at this point the magic expired and the Barbarians Captains Curse proved its power as he lost the next two points to lose 3-1.

So, a 12-9 loss (with the 2 ref points) and finished by 9.15pm. Not our usual tight match but still a decent performance against the top-of-the-table team. Team selection for the next few games will take place soon, so any interested player should email me at mike.douglas@kidmore.co.uk and I’ll be happy to help you get involved.

Star of the night was Jordan who came to cheer the team on despite not playing this week. (Mike Douglas reporting)